The Doctor’s Pockets
by Cute Gallifreyan
Summary: Guess what I've got, Donna? Pockets! They're bigger on the inside. The Doctor is forced to empty his pockets out. 10th Martha
1. The Doctor's Pockets

**The Doctor's Pockets **

_Guess what I've got, Donna? Pockets!_

_They're bigger on the inside._

The Doctor and Martha had been forced to stop at a security check point on a planet where security seemed to be the primary concern of most of the natives. A guard commanded that the Doctor should empty out his pockets. The Doctor sighed, "Alright…but this might take awhile."

The Doctor proceeded to empty out the contents of his trench coat pockets. Martha's eyes went wide as she saw the Doctor empty out his pockets. A couple of bags of jelly babies, a yo-yo, an old copy _of Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, and of _The Time Machine._ A half eaten ham sandwich, a ticket to a football match from the year 1970, a mirror, and a pocket watch were a few of the random items that the Doctor sorted out of his pockets.

"Doctor, what exactly do you have in there?" Martha said, with a slight laugh.

"All sorts of things, Martha Jones; see I sort of learned a few lifetimes ago that it's important to carry things in your pockets. You never know when it might come in handy."

The guard coughed a bit and tapped his foot impatiently as the Doctor still was digging through his pockets.

**XXX**

**A/N: Okay this is really, really random. I am not even really too sure where I am headed with this. But if there is nothing more fun to make fun of it's the Doctor and the crazy things he pulls out of his pockets. But I am open to suggestions as to what might come out of the Doctor's pockets. Anything is fair game, even to the most blatantly absurd. Please R/R **


	2. Chinese Take Away

**Chapter Two: Chinese Take Away **

A line began to form right behind the Doctor and Martha. Martha frowned, "Doctor….how long is this going to take?"

"Martha, be patient. I am a Time Lord. I have been around."

The Doctor reached into his pockets and pulled out a bunch of Chinese food containers and a couple of pairs of chopsticks, plus some Fortune cookies.

Martha's eyes went wide, "Doctor, why is Chinese food in your pockets?"

"Oh you know midnight snack. You never know." The Doctor grinned and broke open a Fortune cookie and he smiled, "Fortune cookie say, time is a fickle lady."

The Doctor chuckled, "You know that is so true."

The guard coughed and the Doctor opened up one of the cartons of Chinese food, "Would you like some?"

Martha sighed, "I don't think he wants Chinese, Doctor."

"What doesn't he like Chinese food?"

"It's not that Doctor, I think he wants you to hurry up."

"Oh right…."

The Doctor began to dig once more into his pockets….

"Uhh Martha can you help me? I am having a hard time getting this out…."

Martha frowned and put her hand in the Doctor's pocket along with his and grasped hard upon something….

**XXXX**

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback, I have ideas now and I will consider them but I had to do at least one food related chapter. Ha… Please R/R **


	3. A Random Mary Poppin’s Thing

**Chapter Three: A Random Mary Poppin's Thing**

Martha and the Doctor pulled really hard when suddenly out of the Doctor's pocket was a hat stand.

Martha blinked, "Doctor, since when do hat stands come out of coat pockets?"

"They come out of my pockets, Martha Jones."

He reached in his pocket again and pulled out a hat and plopped it on top of it. "There… isn't that nice."

The guard blinked, "What kind of pockets are those?"

The Doctor grinned, "They're the ones that are much bigger on the inside than on the outside."

Martha tried not to laugh and said, "Doctor, why do you need a hat stand?"

"I have one in my pockets so I always have a place to put a hat."

The Doctor proceeded to once again dig through his pockets and he began to hum the song, _A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down_….

**XXX**

**A/N: Okay that's the only two I have that are my own. The rest will be some of the ideas I have heard so far. But I kept thinking about Disney's Marry Poppins movie where she pulls out things out of her carpet bag and the kids say there's nothing there. So I figured why not. If Mary Poppins can do it, so can the Doctor. Heh. As for there being plot to this little fic, I am not sure, for a fic like this, I think the randomness will come first and then something that is a plot may come later. **


	4. Doctor Whoooo?

**Chapter Four: Doctor Whoooo? **

The Doctor grinned as he pulled out a bunch of feathers out of his pocket. And suddenly he let out a cry of pain, "Hey…."

Martha saw the Doctor's hand bleeding and she tore her blouse and began to wrap up his hand, "Doctor…"

"Whoooo."

An owl flew out of the Doctor's pocket and landed on the hat stand.

The guards look incredulous, "Hey no unauthorized animals are allowed…"

Martha's eyes blinked, "Doctor…"

"Whoooo"

"What's an owl doing in your pocket?"

"Whooooo"

The Doctor rolled his eyes at the owl, "This is Roquefort, now if he would stop saying 'whooo' all the time after my name, I would be really happy. And he's really helpful at passing notes along for me."

"Doctor…"

"Whoooo"

"Why do you have an owl named after a French cheese?" Martha asked.

"Because Limburger was taken."

The guard said, "Regardless of the name, I am afraid I am going to have to confiscate him."

The Doctor grinned, "Go ahead and try…."

The guard reached a hand to take the owl and the owl flew away.

"Where's he going, Doctor?" Martha asked.

"Back to the TARDIS of course…."

**XXX**

**A/N: Okay whoever suggested an owl…was really a good idea, and a rather cheesy, idea as well. hehe Plus the ever constant pun with the Doctor. Enjoy. Please R/R. **


	5. TARDIS for Idiots

**Chapter Five: TARDIS for Idiots **

The Doctor kept digging in his pockets and pulled out a book still covered in shrink wrap and clearly unopened. On the cover printed in big lettering was the title: _TARDIS for Idiots. _

Martha laughed, "Where did you get that?"

The Doctor shifted a bit uncomfortably, "Uhh….it was a gift…..from Romana. She always kept insisting that I should read it. But I don't need a book. Why do I need a book? I am not an idiot and my TARDIS piloting skills are fine."

"Wait a minute, didn't you tell me you failed the course on how to fly a TARDIS?"

"Yea but that's beside the point. I don't need a book to tell me how to fly my own ship."

"What's the matter, Doctor? Are you afraid that you might actually learn how to fly your ship properly?"

"No, I am not."

"Then why won't you open the book?"

"Because it's insinuating, I am not an idiot and I can too pilot the TARDIS and I don't need some stupid instruction manual to tell me how to pilot my own ship. I have been piloting the TARDIS for over 900 years. I do not need a book telling me how, thank you very much."

"Come on Doctor, if I have to crack open a book to learn how to become a doctor, surely you can open a book on how to pilot a TARDIS."

"Are you questioning my piloting skills, Martha Jones?"

"No…."

"Then don't tell me to open a book that makes me look like an idiot. I have a reputation to maintain you know."

Martha sighed, "Fine…."

**XXXX**

**A/N: I am not sure if this is too funny. But I do know that the Doctor is very averse to reading any instructional manuals on his TARDIS. Please R/R. **


	6. Let’s do the Limbo Rock…

**Chapter Six: Let's do the Limbo Rock…. **

The Doctor suddenly pulled out a stereo player out of his pocket and a great long pole. Martha blinked and said, "Doctor…"

He grinned and he got two guards to hold the pole, they looked at him oddly and he said, "Okay just hold onto this and when I tell you to lower it a bit….do it."

He then took out his sonic screwdriver and it turned on the player. A song belted out of it.

_Every Limbo boy and girl  
All around the Limbo world  
Gonna do the Limbo Rock  
All around the Limbo clock  
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick  
Jack go under Limbo stick  
All around the Limbo clock  
Hey, let's do the Limbo Rock!_

"Come on Martha, come on everyone…lets do the LIMBO…." He grinned as he first went underneath the pole. Martha laughed and followed the Doctor. Everyone began to stare at the Doctor and Martha as they gracefully went underneath the pole. The Doctor took a young woman by the hand that was waiting in line to be inspected and he encouraged her to go underneath it. When the girl did it the Doctor was able to encourage everyone to do so.

The Doctor cried out, "Lower…don't let the pole touch you." The stick went down lower and the song still belted out.

_First you spread your Limbo feet  
Then you move to Limbo beat  
Limbo ankle, Limbo knee  
Spread out like a Limbo tree_

_Here we go!_

And it began all over again and again till finally the stick lowered itself almost to the floor. The only two left were Martha and the Doctor. He grinned and said to Martha, "How low can you go…"

_Get yourself a Limbo girl  
Give that chick a Limbo whirl  
When the Limbo moon's above  
You will fall in Limbo love  
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick  
Jack go under Limbo stick  
All around the clock –_

_Let's do the Limbo Rock… _

Suddenly everyone was quiet and there was a low cough. The Doctor turned around to see more guards and a woman and he grinned, "Ahh her Royal Highness Queen Rassalia."

The Queen coughed, "What is the meaning of this?"

"Just a little party, your highness…" The Doctor said with a smile and then quickly added, "In your honor…."

"In my honor…" The Queen blushed and then exclaimed in jubilation, "No one has ever had a party in my honor before. Not since I decided to tightened security."

The Doctor grinned, "Then it's time to un-tighten things and have a party, your Royal Highness…"

Queen Rassalia smiled, "That's not a bad idea."

The Doctor nodded, "Come on then lets do the Limbo Rock…."

Martha couldn't believe it, a queen that wanted to do the Limbo. Martha shrugged, oh well, leave it to the Doctor to be the life of the party….

**XXXX**

**A/N: A little variation to a suggestion given in the reviews by Mini Librarian, who suggested maracas and dancing. No maracas but a whole lot of limbo. Besides the Doctor is a Time Lord, I am sure he knows a lot about limbo. Hehe. **


	7. The Great Cookie War

**Chapter Seven: The Great Cookie War **

The party was almost over and the guard seemed to have eased up a bit and the Doctor smiled and pulled out a couple of boxes of cookies from his pocket. "What do you like the best Martha Jones, chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?"

Martha paused, "I don't know."

The Doctor opened the boxes up, "Taste testing time…." He passed the cookies around. After great debate among the crowd, it couldn't be decided and the crowd was torn between the two. Rioting began to ensue. "Uh oh….I was afraid of that." The Doctor said.

"What?" Martha said.

"I remember reading somewhere that this planet had a war. I couldn't remember what it was about. Now I remember…" The Doctor paused for a moment and then said, "It was over cookies."

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update this, I lost my muse on what to write. And it took some time to think of something to top that limbo chapter. Heh. Please R/R. **


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